Thank you for this beautiful piece. My soulmate and best friend was called away two years ago quite suddenly. In the dark days that followed, I journaled everything. I think it helped. But one of the most important things that I journaled was that I had spent my entire adult life loving him and showing him every day how much I loved him, so I sat down in a quiet moment, and wrote down a list of all the ways that I could continue to show him how much I love him, and this was very therapeutic for me. I would review the list often, because I was very forgetful at that time, and I would actively do one or more of the things that I put on the list every day. It was important to me to do one or more things on the list every day without fail. Thank you for telling people that this can be a very therapeutic thing to do as we grope our way through that dark place. I also asked my beloved what I could do to show him how much I love him, and the answer came consistently the same every time I asked. He said, "Just give it all away (referring to the love)."
Oh Tania, I am so very sorry. Grief is something that comes to us all at some time, often more than once, but it is never easy and it takes mam different forms. We all do it differently and there is no right or wrong way. I love your way of putting your departed people (and the Little Bay Mare) into places. Sending you the biggest hug xxx
Oh this is so beautiful and I’m so very sorry. I’m saving what you wrote for my past and my future. I’ve mourned loved ones still alive who were actively dying through addiction. The grief you wrote found echoes in me. Thank you for your words
Interesting, once you look for humor, it begins to find you. I find humor in so many places and then when it finds me, that’s when I laugh the hardest.
This is so precious. Your words so beautifully fitting. I just lost a family member. He was too young. Still had so many years left. Grief has many roads.
My goodness, so beautiful and grief-filled and healing all at the same time. Thank you for these words. I pray for you family in this time of grief. 🙏🏼❤️
All well Tania. I'm not in publishing anymore but run the TS Eliot estate full time which is lovely and interesting although I miss authors...as dead ones go though he's very nice to work with... Im going to go back through your pieces which I'm very much looking forward to.. xx
How lovely that you are with T.S. That's a gorgeous job to be doing. I think of him and read him and quote him almost every day. He was, along with Yeats and Lowell, my first great poetic love, when I was a girl, and he is still with me, all these years later. x
Thank you for sharing. I hope the tears your words plucked out of me will somehow lighten your load --reminding you that you're not alone in this big, unpredictable wilderness that is life. <3
Thank you for this beautiful piece. My soulmate and best friend was called away two years ago quite suddenly. In the dark days that followed, I journaled everything. I think it helped. But one of the most important things that I journaled was that I had spent my entire adult life loving him and showing him every day how much I loved him, so I sat down in a quiet moment, and wrote down a list of all the ways that I could continue to show him how much I love him, and this was very therapeutic for me. I would review the list often, because I was very forgetful at that time, and I would actively do one or more of the things that I put on the list every day. It was important to me to do one or more things on the list every day without fail. Thank you for telling people that this can be a very therapeutic thing to do as we grope our way through that dark place. I also asked my beloved what I could do to show him how much I love him, and the answer came consistently the same every time I asked. He said, "Just give it all away (referring to the love)."
This is both heartbreaking and profoundly beautiful. Thank you so much for your words. I am very sorry for your loss. x
Thank you for such tender words of comfort and substance.
This broke my heart and then fixed it, then broke it again. Stunning writing.
That's beautiful. Thank you.
Oh Tania, I am so very sorry. Grief is something that comes to us all at some time, often more than once, but it is never easy and it takes mam different forms. We all do it differently and there is no right or wrong way. I love your way of putting your departed people (and the Little Bay Mare) into places. Sending you the biggest hug xxx
What a very lovely thing to say. Thank you.
Oh this is so beautiful and I’m so very sorry. I’m saving what you wrote for my past and my future. I’ve mourned loved ones still alive who were actively dying through addiction. The grief you wrote found echoes in me. Thank you for your words
Oh, actively dying is such a haunting phrase. Thank you right back for your words.
Interesting, once you look for humor, it begins to find you. I find humor in so many places and then when it finds me, that’s when I laugh the hardest.
The hush of quiet recognition that follows in the wake of this...
I'm most grateful that you gave yourself permission...
Thank you.
That's a very lovely thing to say. Thank you right back.
You found the words for a profound human experience for death is as mysterious as birth.
That's a lovely thing to say. Thank you.
Beautiful. Thank you.
Extraordinary
Thank you.
Beautiful writing. Thank you.
Thank you right back.
Such empathy and sincerity! I’d like to read this to the grief support group that I lead and will of course give author credit
That's such a lovely thought.
This is so precious. Your words so beautifully fitting. I just lost a family member. He was too young. Still had so many years left. Grief has many roads.
I am so sorry for such a heartbreaking loss. The young ones being taken too soon always feels particularly cruel.
Oh my. Your words were just so right all I can say is “thank you”
What a beautiful thing to say. Thank you.
My goodness, so beautiful and grief-filled and healing all at the same time. Thank you for these words. I pray for you family in this time of grief. 🙏🏼❤️
So very kind of you. Thank you.
I'm so sorry Tania.
It's Clare you're ex editor from 4th Estate. Lovely to be able to read your wonderful writing again. Love, Clare
Clare! How lovely to find you on here. Substack turns out to be a very small world. Hope all is well with you.
All well Tania. I'm not in publishing anymore but run the TS Eliot estate full time which is lovely and interesting although I miss authors...as dead ones go though he's very nice to work with... Im going to go back through your pieces which I'm very much looking forward to.. xx
How lovely that you are with T.S. That's a gorgeous job to be doing. I think of him and read him and quote him almost every day. He was, along with Yeats and Lowell, my first great poetic love, when I was a girl, and he is still with me, all these years later. x
Thank you for sharing. I hope the tears your words plucked out of me will somehow lighten your load --reminding you that you're not alone in this big, unpredictable wilderness that is life. <3
That is a very lovely thing to say. x