60 Comments
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Paula Schneider's avatar

Thank you for this beautiful piece. My soulmate and best friend was called away two years ago quite suddenly. In the dark days that followed, I journaled everything. I think it helped. But one of the most important things that I journaled was that I had spent my entire adult life loving him and showing him every day how much I loved him, so I sat down in a quiet moment, and wrote down a list of all the ways that I could continue to show him how much I love him, and this was very therapeutic for me. I would review the list often, because I was very forgetful at that time, and I would actively do one or more of the things that I put on the list every day. It was important to me to do one or more things on the list every day without fail. Thank you for telling people that this can be a very therapeutic thing to do as we grope our way through that dark place. I also asked my beloved what I could do to show him how much I love him, and the answer came consistently the same every time I asked. He said, "Just give it all away (referring to the love)."

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Tania Kindersley's avatar

This is both heartbreaking and profoundly beautiful. Thank you so much for your words. I am very sorry for your loss. x

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Corli's WRITE's avatar

Thank you for such tender words of comfort and substance.

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Sandra Kay's avatar

This broke my heart and then fixed it, then broke it again. Stunning writing.

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Tania Kindersley's avatar

That's beautiful. Thank you.

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Sue Wright's avatar

Oh Tania, I am so very sorry. Grief is something that comes to us all at some time, often more than once, but it is never easy and it takes mam different forms. We all do it differently and there is no right or wrong way. I love your way of putting your departed people (and the Little Bay Mare) into places. Sending you the biggest hug xxx

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Tania Kindersley's avatar

What a very lovely thing to say. Thank you.

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Anne Reckling, PsyD's avatar

Oh this is so beautiful and I’m so very sorry. I’m saving what you wrote for my past and my future. I’ve mourned loved ones still alive who were actively dying through addiction. The grief you wrote found echoes in me. Thank you for your words

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Tania Kindersley's avatar

Oh, actively dying is such a haunting phrase. Thank you right back for your words.

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MissLadyK's avatar

Interesting, once you look for humor, it begins to find you. I find humor in so many places and then when it finds me, that’s when I laugh the hardest.

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David E. Perry's avatar

The hush of quiet recognition that follows in the wake of this...

I'm most grateful that you gave yourself permission...

Thank you.

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Tania Kindersley's avatar

That's a very lovely thing to say. Thank you right back.

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Pat Mumby PhD's avatar

You found the words for a profound human experience for death is as mysterious as birth.

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Tania Kindersley's avatar

That's a lovely thing to say. Thank you.

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Parveen's avatar

Beautiful. Thank you.

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Meliss's avatar

Extraordinary

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Tania Kindersley's avatar

Thank you.

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Pamela Haydon Lutz's avatar

Beautiful writing. Thank you.

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Tania Kindersley's avatar

Thank you right back.

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Jill Stockwell's avatar

Such empathy and sincerity! I’d like to read this to the grief support group that I lead and will of course give author credit

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Tania Kindersley's avatar

That's such a lovely thought.

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Irene McGuinness's avatar

This is so precious. Your words so beautifully fitting. I just lost a family member. He was too young. Still had so many years left. Grief has many roads.

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Tania Kindersley's avatar

I am so sorry for such a heartbreaking loss. The young ones being taken too soon always feels particularly cruel.

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Lisa's avatar

Oh my. Your words were just so right all I can say is “thank you”

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Tania Kindersley's avatar

What a beautiful thing to say. Thank you.

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Christine Brakman's avatar

My goodness, so beautiful and grief-filled and healing all at the same time. Thank you for these words. I pray for you family in this time of grief. 🙏🏼❤️

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Tania Kindersley's avatar

So very kind of you. Thank you.

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clare reihill's avatar

I'm so sorry Tania.

It's Clare you're ex editor from 4th Estate. Lovely to be able to read your wonderful writing again. Love, Clare

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Tania Kindersley's avatar

Clare! How lovely to find you on here. Substack turns out to be a very small world. Hope all is well with you.

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clare reihill's avatar

All well Tania. I'm not in publishing anymore but run the TS Eliot estate full time which is lovely and interesting although I miss authors...as dead ones go though he's very nice to work with... Im going to go back through your pieces which I'm very much looking forward to.. xx

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Tania Kindersley's avatar

How lovely that you are with T.S. That's a gorgeous job to be doing. I think of him and read him and quote him almost every day. He was, along with Yeats and Lowell, my first great poetic love, when I was a girl, and he is still with me, all these years later. x

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Chantel Prat Ph.D.'s avatar

Thank you for sharing. I hope the tears your words plucked out of me will somehow lighten your load --reminding you that you're not alone in this big, unpredictable wilderness that is life. <3

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Tania Kindersley's avatar

That is a very lovely thing to say. x

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